SineLuce

Hello all and everyone, my dear friends and watchers! first of all i'm grateful for 's , +watch's and birthday greetins i've missed. i'd love to thank each one of you personally but i'm afraid its impossible but i truly appreciate your attention to my modest talent

Leaving once,dying every day... i've got through a couple of years of inactivity and wistful hasitations and promised myseif to go on drawing for what it's worth. thanks to great Van Gogh, his convictions helped me so much to get over myself. i advice everyone who needs kind of a kick to start doing something to read the incredible artist's letters to his brother. honestly,it's motivating :)

then i'd like to make a confession...two,in fact. when you announce smth in public loudly or just submit a journal like this for the audience to see you admit to yourself mostly. it's getting much easier to accept,aknowledge some fact.

it might be Spring influence; maybe under my dry wooden ribs a little birdie started singing or it's a whale song because i'm on diet i never thought this could ever struck me. probably midlife crisis is knocking on my stupid forehead i feel somewhat as a dirty Granny. i heard about such things but now i'm 40 and it's embarassing...

the guy from the video below wouldnt let my heart (or which section of a brain? )go

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6cuIg22LHY

i was 18-19 and that was like wow. late 90's. more than 20 years has passed by now and what? i find myself deeply into it again wtf, back in time i didnt like the mentioned song very much,i preferred others. sometimes feelings partly return. they are similar to a crampled ball of a dear memory forgotten and accidentally found in a pocket. you carefully flatten it recalling... afterwards place that lovely peace into the box where other ones are kept to to take out again across the years. but this face of the screen... even photos of 2021 dont help i dont want to say anything disturbing but remember about 2 dozen years. as if my own youth has got old. not that youth which undoubtedly withered but the one beyond time and space,the youth in itself. all that is both sad and exciting. this is it. i have to live with the admission :lol:

by the way i've got a question about the project to you,my friends. i mean Vacuum of course. i visited their concert in the very late 90's,1998 or 1999. i had a seat on the balcony. as Alice Cooper sins in the entitled song: "i might as well be on Mars" maybe some of you know the date or at least the exact year? Saint Petersburg, Russia, Grand Concert Hall Oktyabrsky. a link to a video would be awesome,if such one exists :)

than the second confession. i'm pregnant, not with a baby,but the grand ideas of further drawings,yes i'm going to be the mother of many children one of them is about to be born the other day

well,honestly i dont like such comparison. i have a quite dim view of the subjuct and dont have any wish to learn it personally but i think, the creative process is rather similar to pregnancy. doubts,hesitations,fear of aborthion,genetic deseases and deformities,deah during childbirth. but i can asure you that in my case everithing goes as planned. the mother's life is out of danger and if the foetus has some abnormalities latter ones are rather minor :rofl:

love and hugs

your Olga and her Spring "illness" :lol: